I dreamt about the Kid finding out. I’ve been awake for 30 minutes with a weird feeling and it just hit me. It was horrible, embaracing, humiliating beyond anything I’ve felt. I’m loosing control.

This is what Nick calls going out of your comfort zone. Unknowing, uncertain, blindfolded, wondering between options.

And angry. I’m angry all the time, gritting my teeth so often I’m actually worried about them. Holding my anger gives me a fake feeling of control over the situation…

Hillarious, isn’t it? Playing games with my own mind, on purpose, in order not to loose it.